This guide was written in several stages over a period of more than four years of part-time experimentation with male chastity, sharing with my spouse and questioning. As the writing progresses, our thinking on chastity has greatly evolved. There was the obligatory passage of sharing my desire for male chastity with my spouse and her apprenticeship to become a Keyholder. It's that she didn't choose to be my KH.
Sylvia Labiche's Practical Guide to Controlled Male Chastity and Marital Gynarchy was our lifeline, simply by the most important sentence in the book: "I do not use the cage to control her man, but his sexuality." This sentence confirmed to us that the CMC is possible without referring to sadomasochism (SM), which suited us perfectly.
And there was the site Osezlacmc.com written by KH women that brought an all-female perspective to the CMC. The article titled "What does the CMC mean to you?" asked the right question. A question that KH and encagé must answer, but also join with certain compromises to make it work.
The first chapter is Controlled Male Chastity (CMC) as we know it. I have expressed it in its simplest, most accessible, and least frightening version possible in order to understand its foundations. Indeed, you will see that I avoid going far in everything that coats the CMC, its third-party practices, its fantasies and the great ideals to keep only the core.
In the second chapter, I expose chastity in its reality and its challenges. Too often, what we read on the subject avoids the real questions and exposes the couple to a vision of the CMC which is very much described in the world of fantasy and imagination. In the previous chapter, we explained all the advantages of the CMC, so I found it logical to then expose the disadvantages, as we do for any gadget that we buy. A first step to make it more realistic, more accessible and above all more acceptable for the couple.
Subsequently in the third chapter, I expose the bases of a new reasoned CMC. A CMC that must first be fun and healthy for the couple! A game, just a game, to put the male organ aside and thus prioritize female pleasure in the sexuality of the couple! We keep what is fun from the CMC and remove without remorse the less attractive side of the exercise. Two elements distinguish the reasoned CMC from other CMCs: it is not permanent and there is no submission domination game. The ultimate goal is therefore not to wear the chastity cage 24/7/365, or even to live in slavery to the holder of the key. Part-time, with little challenges, at the most profitable time for the couple, she is much more acceptable to my spouse, and easier to manage in everyday life. The reasoned KH mainly manages penetration and gives herself pleasure to her advantage. The caged will manage his emotional chastity in search of a liberating well-being offered by the object, far from eroticism, fantasies, pornography and BDSM. I hope that the lightness and ease of application as we exercise it will find many followers, even among the most reluctant, and will have very real benefits in your life as a couple.
The fourth chapter is pleasure for both women and men. Because for the reasoned CMC, the spouse in her role of KH refuses the penetration that she does not really appreciate and learns to ask selfishly, without remorse what pleases her. Thus, the caged man is led to mourn the penetration. Male pleasure is not forbidden, however. Men, and also women, must explore new possibilities to awaken the unknown side of male sexuality: a non-phallocentrist sexuality, full of sweetness and caresses, of new experiences, away from performance and BDSM, and above all without complex. This is what I will call uninhibited male sexuality where we deconstruct the stereotype of man, and grant him the right to express desires other than penetration-ejaculation without coming across as abnormal, homosexual, effeminate.
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